Understanding your need to feel satisfied in your relationship and answering to that need will make both of you happier people. If you are not feeling satisfied in your relationship, these 10 tips could help you achieve that very important goal.

1. Recognize each other for your commitment and caring
The number one motivator of people is recognition. Letting someone you love know how they have added to your life is one of the highest compliments they can receive.
(Need creative help? Discover 50 ways to say I love you.)

2. Share in creating a positive and emotionally comfortable living environment
Love cannot thrive in a negative environment. Keeping it positive helps everyone in the household (even your cat) enjoy their lives more.

3. Make your relationship meaningful
Work together to create something worthwhile. Whether it's contributing to your community, your faith, or the world, doing it as a couple will add depth and a sense of higher purpose to your relationship.

4. Be responsible for your actions
If you make a mistake, own up to it sooner rather than later and always do it completely. This gets it out of the way and allows easier healing because the problem has had no time to fester and grow.

5. Be accountable for your commitments
When you make a promise, keep it. If you break your word, your partner may have difficulty believing you will be there next time.

6. Balance the work and the rewards
Trade off household duties every now and then. It will help you and your partner feel you are in a balanced relationship. If you are in a partnership where one of you works and the other takes care of the home and children, you need to make sure the stay-at-home partner has equal access to the household income.

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7. Help each other to grow and learn
Encourage your partner to be open to new experiences. People who are not growing do not feel good about themselves, and this will cause them to feel they are bringing less into their relationship.

8. Give your partner the opportunity to be their best
When you know that your partner takes pride in certain tasks or endeavors, support them in succeeding at those things. Remember that greatness in any one area leads to greatness in all areas.

9. Balance the work and the rewards
If you know that your partner has difficulty talking with the accountant, dealing with the phone company, or performing other tasks of living, take on that responsibility. If your partner responds to certain forms of kindness or affection, offer those gifts.

10. Keep it interesting
Do nice things for no reason. Greet your partner with enthusiasm when you see them at the end of the day, and keep some spontaneity in the relationship.

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Excerpted from Emotional Fitness for Couples by Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. Copyright 2005 by Barton Goldsmith. Excerpted with permission by New Harbinger Publications. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.


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