Gossip rag Star magazine and various websites are carrying news that Kate Middleton, a.k.a. the Duchess of Cambridge, is pregnant again. As of this writing nothing is confirmed and in a way, I hope nothing is confirmed. Because until there's an announcement, it's none of our business. I realize that Kate Middleton's pregnancy would be international news for a variety of reasons, but I do have to ask: Why do people often feel compelled to ask questions or comment on family's choices around babies? From someone who's been there in various ways: Please don't assume it's cute or your right to ask when anyone is going to get pregnant. Those of us who have struggled around pregnancy loss and/or infertility are particularly sensitive to how hurtful it can be to have well-meaning family and friends pry about expecting a new member of the family, whether it's a first baby or a sixth baby. My husband and I were married 10 years before I was able to carry a baby to term, and sometimes I think we got pretty much every variation on "why aren't you pregnant yet?" that we possibly could. It never entirely lost its sting. What surprised me even more was that after I lost my daughter, people still kept on asking when we would "try again." And then as soon as my elder son hit about the one-year-old mark, people started letting us know that they didn't think an only child was a good plan. (For the record, while I am very glad to have two surviving children, I think only kids will turn out just fine.) Here's a plea for us all to learn a little bit of patience and kindness. Sure, I know couples where I have thought it would be great to hear news they were having a baby...but it's just a thought. If you want to dig deeper into the whole issue of talking to people about their family planning, RESOLVE, the U.S. national infertility association, has an excellent fact sheet on infertility etiquette.  We've also got a great article that dispels myths around infertility. Photo: Keystone Press