Parenting rocks the foundation of your world, not just because you are suddenly responsible for preserving the life and spirit of small people, but because those small people come with their own unique personalities. Also, little kids can be kind of crazy. So here are five things I've said this week that I never thought would require saying. 1. Never, ever put strawberries down your front and smush them to see the juice oozing up through a white t-shirt again. 2. The cat does not like it when you rub sunscreen into his fur. 3. Stop shoving Lego into your brother's ear. Don't let your brother shove Lego into your ear. 4. Toothpaste is not a snack. 5. We don't take our privates out of our pants at the table. (They really are aliens sometimes.) What have you had to say to your kids that in any other context is just crazy?