Mind & Spirit
5 ways to be more confident
Mind & Spirit
5 ways to be more confident
1. Be like a man.
When you mess up, forgive yourself instantly. It wasn't intended to hurt or annoy, so why torture yourself? Unless you actually spent six months in your basement planning to bump into that old man or get your brother's new girlfriend's name wrong, what's the problem? (And if you did, you've got bigger problems than this one to worry about.)
2. Ask for more, and less.
Next time something comes up that you want, like an exciting new account at work, ask to be assigned to it. When a pile of extra work hurtles toward your team looking like its heading for your "in" box, insist it's shared. The news flash kept from most women is this: we get what we ask for, the squeaky wheel gets the grease and no one thinks you're worth the time off/extra cash until someone brings it to their attention – which means YOU. And another great secret: the more you ask, the easier it gets and the more you think you deserve it! Talk about an upward spiral.
3. See rejection as their loss.
When the short, bald guy asks the fledgling model for her number and gets turned down, he doesn't go home and beg his mirror to reveal whey no one loves him. He shrugs and tries the next stool. He might be the best lover, the most elegant orator or have millions stuffed under his mattress, but whatever; he knows she's missing out. Whether it's true or not, it gives him the power to get back on the horse and try again (which is why you often see a short, bald guy with a pretty girl). If you don't get the job, you might have had an off-interview day or the interviewer may have had a thing about people with freckles. Who cares? Move on!
4. Be your own cheerleader.
Don't ask someone if they think you can do it; say you can and then rise to the challenge (unless it's performing brain surgery). Then work like mad to make sure you do a great job.
5. Be clear about what you want.
Don't be ashamed of ambition or desires; little girls aren't told it's OK to aim high so we think we should pretend middle is OK. But little girls don't want to buy expensive shoes or vacation to the Caribbean.
Having trouble meeting someone? Read about how to approach a stranger with confidence.
Excerpted from
How to be Absolutely Irresistible Make Friends, Attract Romance and Show the World Your True Charm by Lisa Helmanis. Copyright 2007 by Lisa Helmanis. Excerpted with permission of Ulysses Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced except with permission in writing from the publisher.
When you mess up, forgive yourself instantly. It wasn't intended to hurt or annoy, so why torture yourself? Unless you actually spent six months in your basement planning to bump into that old man or get your brother's new girlfriend's name wrong, what's the problem? (And if you did, you've got bigger problems than this one to worry about.)
2. Ask for more, and less.
Next time something comes up that you want, like an exciting new account at work, ask to be assigned to it. When a pile of extra work hurtles toward your team looking like its heading for your "in" box, insist it's shared. The news flash kept from most women is this: we get what we ask for, the squeaky wheel gets the grease and no one thinks you're worth the time off/extra cash until someone brings it to their attention – which means YOU. And another great secret: the more you ask, the easier it gets and the more you think you deserve it! Talk about an upward spiral.
3. See rejection as their loss.
When the short, bald guy asks the fledgling model for her number and gets turned down, he doesn't go home and beg his mirror to reveal whey no one loves him. He shrugs and tries the next stool. He might be the best lover, the most elegant orator or have millions stuffed under his mattress, but whatever; he knows she's missing out. Whether it's true or not, it gives him the power to get back on the horse and try again (which is why you often see a short, bald guy with a pretty girl). If you don't get the job, you might have had an off-interview day or the interviewer may have had a thing about people with freckles. Who cares? Move on!
4. Be your own cheerleader.
Don't ask someone if they think you can do it; say you can and then rise to the challenge (unless it's performing brain surgery). Then work like mad to make sure you do a great job.
5. Be clear about what you want.
Don't be ashamed of ambition or desires; little girls aren't told it's OK to aim high so we think we should pretend middle is OK. But little girls don't want to buy expensive shoes or vacation to the Caribbean.
Having trouble meeting someone? Read about how to approach a stranger with confidence.
Excerpted from
How to be Absolutely Irresistible Make Friends, Attract Romance and Show the World Your True Charm by Lisa Helmanis. Copyright 2007 by Lisa Helmanis. Excerpted with permission of Ulysses Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced except with permission in writing from the publisher.
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